jacquedixon.com

Posted By Jacque on April 25, 2012

this has been edited since publication

Why African Babies Don’t Cry, A Breastfeeding Story. This is not my story, just one that I really loved. Though I don’t believe that babies and mamas in Africa are better and different in this regard, because ALL mamas and babies should have this type of a relationship. It is the heart of a woman to bear and feed and nurture a baby, teach him or her everything Mama knows about life and love and what is right and wrong, how to love. It is a part of her as a woman, something a man can’t do. It sets us apart from being men, where many other things we can do that they can do.

I guess that my part of the writing would be called A Breastfeeding Rant.

This story has some very good information for mamas, something every woman should read. One thing that was so wonderful was her Grandmother’s advice. OH! How I WISH I had had good Grandmotherly or good motherly advice about my babies!! The previous generation knows nothing(little to nothing; my Aunt knew quite a bit and still does) of natural motherhood as a whole, so childbirth, breastfeeding, and even gentle child training are all lost to our culture as a whole. They now pass on ignorance in all of these areas, when as women, these things are just SO us. It’s as if they are stifling womanhood, and they don’t even know it:

Let’s fight for our right to have a medical birth(why, are you sick?),
feed formula to our babies(why, is your baby sick?)
and to discipline/beat our children.

Why do we do this? It undermines the loving, natural, earthy, and creative reason for Woman. These are strengths of a woman. Why are we demanding to do away with them? WHY do we brag about how Johnny and Betty are eating cereal and sleeping by themselves at 4 months? That’s not normal.  Really, it isn’t. It is cultural, and it is something that we MAKE our babies do to fit into our schedules and lives. But it isn’t normal for what a mama and a baby have lived for the precious nine months and what makes a baby and a mama happy. Because, it doesn’t make baby happy, and that doesn’t make momma happy.

It is time that we as a culture change some things we believe about womanhood in these areas, and perhaps our families will be a lot happier. And I believe that we actually ARE heading back to this direction. I am seeing it more and more, and I think it is so wonderful. We need to stop focusing on who is the boss, who serves whom, what rules of conduct for what person, and focus on gentleness and the strengths of men, women, and children in the family unit. For women, a natural part of her womanhood is child-bearing, prolonged and as-needed breastfeeding, and gentle child-teaching,  with love and a gentle hand, teaching them what is right and what is wrong and letting them make mistakes and choose to do right, not forcing them.

Children actually inherently want what is good and right, not what is bad and wrong. We have mixed that up somewhere. They desire to be happy and are loving to a fault til we screw them up.

Anyway, in the article, her Grandmother’s advice for her when she was reading all the books she could on her baby and breastfeeding?? It was PERFECT:

“My grandmother later commented that babies don’t read books and really all I needed to do was “read” my baby”

Her expression of feeding baby when BABY is hungry, not as it fits into mama’s schedule was brilliantly brought across. It kind of liberated me to something I already know anyway. I am the weirdo who feeds Baby when he’s hungry, or thirsty, or needs comfort, or is tired, or whenever Baby needs it. Period. People don’t like that. I say get over it. I didn’t have my children to please or impress you, nor do I breastfeed for your enjoyment, either of staring or of complaining about it. It’s a boob. I don’t show it off; I feed my child with it, which is its intent and purpose. It isn’t a sex object, no matter what you might have grown up thinking. And when I breastfeed, you can’t tell anyway, unless you WANT to know, then so what? you know.

I know that people have issues with this, but really, it’s just a boob, a piece of flesh with milk in it. But, it’s like gold to our babies, so you can get over it.

I am sorry if this seems rather harsh, but because I have had enough discussion about this, I am in a frank mood about it, and if you take issue with it(specifically with breastfeeding or seeing a mom breastfeeding), I think you need to talk to someone who can help you with your issues.

As for the article, I loved it very much, and though I have breastfed all of my babies, and some near exclusively til they were one, I found things I would do differently had I read this article years ago.

It really spoke to me, and made me see my babies differently yet again, and I am happy to keep my younger babies in my laps as long as they like…
at 2, 5, 6, 8…. 12… whatever, because they won’t always sit on my lap anyway. Sometimes it’s hard enough to keep them in the house for two minutes. But, I am determined to keep them here, on my lap, as they need it  (though I think that may also include playing Crazy 8′s and Old Maid til my eyeballs pop out of my head… but I think that’ll be all right!)

Today, I spent a lovely time with one of our children early this morning on Amazon, adding to my Wishlist some books that I am getting and time to schedule Snuggle Time, even if we have to make hot chocolate or Hot Tea and do it all day! Or if I have to pop in our fave videos and watch them while we snuggle.

This article has given me a heart for more snuggle time with my children.
Seriously, I really loved it. (Can you tell?)

Have a fantastic day Mamas! And Happy Nyonyo, as it applies!

<3 Jacque

This might also interest you: Moms in Africa breastfeed differently about the “breast crawl“.

{I understand that others’ experiences will be different. This is a generalization based on my experiences in 20 years of having children, breastfeeding, and having many friends, family, and acquaintances who also have. I have no desire to debate this topic with anyone on any level. I am posting this on my personal blog as my personal opinion.
Have a nice day and believe as you choose about it!}

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Categories: Babies and Toddlers, Daughters, Growing in His Grace
Tags: African, babies, book lists, breastfeeding, family, fun, lies we believe, Mama Culture, Mamas, reading, Snuggle Time, the "breast crawl", Tying Heartstrings, women