What Defines You?
Posted By Jacque on March 11, 2010
We all have different way or things that people might use to define us. We might even use things to define ourselves. But do they? When I write a description on a new account, I usually write something that defines how we live.
I would write something like:
I am a wife of 21 years and a Torah observant, homesteading, home schooling mother of 9. I love to garden, raise goats, watch my chickens, cloth diaper, wear my babies, shovel snow, drink coffee and herbal tea, and eat organic. I am the manager of our home, teaching our daughters to come alongside me and also manage the home. I am also chief editor and manager of our family ministries to Yah’s people through our websites: Gleaning the Harvest, a mission presenting widowed/single mother home school families to YHVH’s people, Training Sons to Be Men and Training Daughters, Teaching Wives, and Feelin’ Feminine, run by my daughter Jocelyn.
Walking Therein is where I share my heart through articles of faith and the daily lives of the Dixon family, and encouraging home school articles.
That is what others want to know about us. But does that define us? Or rather, is that what I want people to know about me?
I don’t do any of those things because they define me. We do the things we do because we have counted the costs and have been convicted in our lives to do or not do things. We live as we see is best for our family. And we certainly have not arrived.
This season of my life is a culmination of so many things we have faced – Things I have faced personally, and what we have learned and what has changed all of us in the past ten years. What I am dealing with is all the other things that don’t necessarily define us-me as a family, but are so ingrained into us that they are a part of who we are.
“I am a wife of 21 years and a Torah observant, homesteading, home schooling mother of 9. I love to garden, raise goats, watch my chickens, cloth diaper, wear my babies, shovel snow, drink coffee and herbal tea, and eat organic.“
We sold all of our animals and are selling most of our belongings and our home. Our plan was to raise the rest of our children and grow old in this home, having them bring their babes here when they had them to Grandpa and Grandma’s.
NO.
We planned to have a goat farm with fresh milk and chickens for eggs and fresh meat.
NO.
We were going to finish our addition and buy the land behind us from our neighbor.
NO.
We were going to have animals and land and a garden and work it with our children and our grandchildren, teaching them life through it, our Living Learning Moments.
NO.
On my way home from the grocery this week, I was talking to Matt, and he told me a lady had called to come look at the swingset. You know, the wooden one we cut and put together ourselves as a gift for our children one year and has been used by all our children with joy…
I had already called a friend to ask if she needed some bikes for her children, because I am having a hard time letting go and putting Isaac’s new bike from last year and the tricycle our last three children played on into the moving sale. And don’t get me started on all the Little Tykes sets that were from when Amanda and Jocelyn were little that are down there….
So, when he told me about the swingset, the tears just flowed, because I have to let it go. My Momma’s heart has to just stop and consider what is best. These things do not define us. There are great memories, and and they are good things, but that was my plan. That was what we thought and worked toward and might be what we would have defined ourselves by last summer.
But, no longer.
Is this the death of a dream? Maybe. No. It is the death of my plans, the surrender of what I dreamed of for the perfect plans and dreams of our Father.
And Father knows best.
These things do not define us.
Today, we are defined by a deeper motivation to do what Scripture tells us to do and how to live our lives than we were last year. And, I hope it always is that way. I hope we always strive to be more like him and walk closer to his Scriptures, his commandment and his words every year, every day, every minute.
We are moving for a bigger reason than what defines us, and that is how we are defined. We are moving because this is Yah-God’s plan for us. He has set us on this path, and it is a hard path-hard on our flesh, but all these things and this place, and who we are here is not more important than who we are in him.
Just some more reflecting I am doing on this part of the journey.
Shalom~
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This post was inspired by my friend Amy’s post, When You Just Can’t Hack Cloth Diapering, at Raising Arrows.
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8 Responses to “What Defines You?”
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I’m glad that you and your family are open to the call of the Lord, wherever He might lead you!
Cassandra´s last blog ..Bible in 90 Days – Day 68
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I don’t know the specifics but I can completely understand what you are going thru. We did something very similar two years ago when we left Colorado and moved to Tennessee. The road is hard. The blessings of going thru it as a family are uncountable. I would like ot say I would never do anything like that again…but if Yah calls we go. How sweet it is to hear HIM call!!
Blessings on all of you!!
Navah/Teresa
Teresa Smith´s last blog ..….In the Cleft of the ROCK
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Oh Jacque from one mothers heart to another…..and may your Yah given path be full in peace, joy and love….all things work for good to those who love HIM!
Andi´s last blog ..Home Ec: Lesson’s 12 & 13
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I can imagine how hard it is to let go of these treasures, cherished for both memory and the hopes you held for the future. As you know, He will replace those dreams with other dreams that you will come to treasure as time goes by.
I am also a Torah observant, homeschooling, homesteading, goat raising mom, though at this time I only have 8 children. I do have 3 grand babies
Do you have a previous post where you talk about why you’ve decided to leave these plans behind and where you feel He is calling you to journey? I wonder what would have inspired these changes in your plans.
There was another Torah observant, homeschooling, homesteading mom of many who felt her family was called to Israel several years ago. I wonder if you are going to Israel as well.
Love,
Beth
Beth West´s last blog ..“Twins” November 09
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Jacque~ I cried reading this. It brought back a flood of memories and emotions. I can relate to every single word! We just experienced this last Fall after Sukkot. We were living on a small homestead and truly loving life and then in a matter of a short few months everything changed. YHWH spoke to my husband and I separately and then we had confirmation when each of us had peace with what Abba wanted us to do… I I remember I would stand in my garage looking around at everything we have accumulated as family and think that was my life being sold before my very eyes. Yet at the same time, I had such peace. Little did I know we are not alone! HE is positioning HIS people to carry out HIS plans! May HE continue to bless you and your family as you seek to serve Him with your lives and embrace HIS plan!
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Understanding what you are saying in SO many ways! Being stretched is no fun when we are stretched beyond what we think the plan is. As I am sure you are too, it is so amazing to rest in the fact that His plan is so much more profitable than anything we can think up ourselves. Praying for you as you sell those things near and dear to you. I too had to sell a swingset that my dad and I assembled together for my kids. SO many memories of the kids playing and helping put it together that I asked my DH if we could rent a truck to bring it with us. Alas it was not what the Lord wanted. When looking to buy here we were presented with an amazing piece of property to have a homestead on but God had other plans for us! Praying as you mourn that God will comfort you. The memories stay even if the temporal things that made the memory are gone! HUGS!
Theresa
Theresa´s last blog ..Time for……. you decide
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[...] They took the swingset today. Enough said. [...]
I have been reading your blog, and wondered where the Lord has called you to go?
Blessings to you and your family!
~Jenna
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