Transparency, What is It, and How Do You Do It?
Posted By Jacque on October 23, 2009
“Blogging Transparently“: What in the world is it?
Is it different in real life than it is on the blogs? Is it a good thing? Is it bad? Can it be both?
I have read blogs where the person is a little too transparent; I have read blogs where the person seemed to be transparent, but I knew them in real life, and knew that was not transparency they were showing; and I have read blogs where the writer actually is transparent.
The first thing I think that is important when we are being transparent in any situation is a little bit of discernment and a lot of self-control. You know what I mean, like that FaceBook status that is just a little more info than you needed to read about whatever or the Mom who loves her children but does nothing but complain about them in her blog posts. That is when you wish the writer had practiced a little more of both. It is disheartening, to say the least, but is that the kind of transparency we are supposed to be showing?
So, where do you draw the line?
What is transparency to you?
Is transparency just honesty?
Is it complaining about anything and everything in your life?
Is it being pious under the guise of ‘absolute honesty’ about life and situations?
Of course, it is a good thing to blog real-life situations and problems to show your friends and readers that you are a real person and not perfect. I do think that readers know the authors that they read regularly and are friends with. I like to read how a home school mom overcomes problems at home and with her life, but I certainly do not want to read all the juicy details.
So, what is your opinion on transparent blogging? How transparent is a good modicum of ‘transparency’? Or is transparency something that is a necessity on a blog as long as the person is real and of good character?
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23 Responses to “Transparency, What is It, and How Do You Do It?”
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I agree with you – I love to read about the everyday happenings in the life of a blogger but I prefer that the details are not too in depth – especially with certain topics. Trouble is – I am a terrible blogger when it comes to blogging about everyday happenings – I just can’t seem to do it! :p
To the KING be all the glory!
Rebekah
“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15
Rebekah´s last blog ..Sermon Notes – October 11th
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I have to say that I think there is a line you can cross. You want to share, without putting out the most intimate details of your personal life.
I think the people I most relate to as far as blogging, whether homeschoolers or not, are moms…just normal every day moms. Those moms who don’t try to make themselves seem like everything is 100% perfect in their lives every single day. Their children never misbehave, their houses are spotless. I don’t know, to me that just seems unrealistic.
While I haven’t opened my heart completely on my blog, I am working on that. With G-d’s help, I am trying to get out of the mindset that anyone’s opinion matters more than His. It’s a hard thing to overcome. But with that said, there are certain things that I will not share on my blog, Facebook, or anywhere else on the internet, because it just isn’t appropriate.
I hope to someday be able to show G-d’s love through my words…I have quite a ways to go. But I will never represent myself as something I am not. Those who know me in person know who I am, and they see that same person on my blog and Facebook. I am far from perfect, I am human. And I try not to be anything but that.
Great thought provoking post Jacque.
Stephanie´s last blog ..Faith Is An Exciting Adventure
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October 23rd, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Stephanie, I have a hard time being what people call completely transparent, though I really feel like there are some things that do not need to be shared. I try to not make it appear we have it all together, but have been accused of having a seemingly perfect life… as if!
I do open my heart sometimes, but I am a private person for the most part, so it is hard sometimes. I try to write as I am led to, I guess. I would like to blog more about my family times… my problem with that is pretty simple… I want to upload a photo and I don’t have time to resize, etc… so, for that, I pretty much need to forgo the photo and just write it up!
lol
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October 24th, 2009 at 12:12 am
Well, I personally think you do a fabulous job! You give us great information, and I think you share just enough. I agree with you on finding the time to add photos and stuff though. I don’t have the number of beautiful children you do, but still the 3 I have keep me pretty busy lol. I have tons of photos on my computer that I have taken, thinking this will be great for the future, or I would like to write a post about it, but I never get to it.
One thing I think that happens to me is I have a great idea for a post, and sometimes it comes out just the way I imagined, and other times it goes off on rabbit trails
It’s ok to be private online. The world doesn’t need to know every single detail of your life.
Stephanie´s last blog ..Faith Is An Exciting Adventure
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There is indeed a line that can be crossed when transparency turns into what I like to refer to as ‘verbal vomit’. Some things are not necessarily edifying for the body of Christ to know, however some struggles are worthy of sharing! Mostly for the fact of fulfilling this scripture:
2 Cor 1: 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.
On the other hand there are some blogs that are very transparent in a way that is incredibly convicting. Not because they have not shown self-control in their tongue but because they are pouring out their hearts and showing others that there is a Peace, Hope and Joy…….. that God has brought them from the deepest of despair and into the “promise land”. One woman’s blog I stumbled upon about a month ago, her testimony was scarey! There was no fake pleasentries and the reality of the despair she was in before knowing Jesus is something I have never experienced/understood. Trading beauty for ashes isn’t always pretty, however I read her blog just as I was really praying for my God-daughter who was/is backsliding. Reading this womans testimony gave me a renewed compassion for my God-daughter who is now putting herself through much of what this woman experienced. It gave me a picture into the darkness of her soul right now. It made me pray for her more than I had for a long while.
I really do try to not verbally vomit on my blog but with that same principle, I am also dont want to give someone the impression that I have arrived. While ‘relevence’ is another buzz word going around the blogging world today, for lack of a better term, there is a bit of truth that we can be so religious that we don’t make sence to someone who still is at the begining of thier walk with Christ. I started blogging just to catelog a big move that God was calling us to do & to keep up with family and friends from back home. Lately I have been praying about starting another blog about how hubby & I got to the place where God could say “move 3000 miles away from everything that is familiar” and we could say with confidence only in HIS plan “YES Lord, send us!” So, I pray about how to be real without hiding behind appearances, being self-controlled but not by leaving out what might minister to someone else. Just want it to be because the Lord wants me to do it above all else. Ergo, I wait for God to give me the words and in His time, if He wants it to come about, He will nudge me forward!
Something I would encourage you to do is just seek the Lord on it. He will lay on your heart what you should be transparent about…….. God Bless!
Theresa´s last blog ..An additional puzzle piece
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October 24th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Thanks Theresa. You have shared a lot of insight.
I think it is important to have a Scriptural back up for what we do.
This is very good:
2 Cor 1: 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.
I hope that my posts contain an element of the comfort of Yehovah God, even in my trials, because I don’t want to just share the trials either. I want to share the hope too.
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I think we need to be wise. There is a fine line. One thing I do not like is when people are constantly grumbling. I think even if one is not a positive person, then at least the blog posts should try to be! I will stop reading them.
jenny´s last blog ..Living in Grace, Freedom without legalism
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October 24th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
I agree Jenny. Completely. There are seasons of opening up and sharing painful thoughts. I do not think that is grumbling and complaining, as long as the season is peppered with grace and joy somewhere. We cannot always be complaining and griping, but sometimes life is just tough and for some of it, it just lasts and lasts… but we are not left without hope. Lizzie’s blog, A Dusty Frame, is an example of that. http://adustyframe.com So is Robin’s Heart of Wisdom blog. http://heartofwisdom.com/blog
Glad you are still reading my blog! 
I try to post positive things on my blog, even when I am in a trial. And sometimes, trials are ugly. I like how Theresa defined it as “no fake pleasentries and the reality of the despair she was in”, but I think that is part of the balance.
Being loving, kind and positive, seeing Yehovah in it is the other part.
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Psalm 45 1-4 tells me how I should write. With:
1. Truth
2. Humility
3 Righteousness
Before I write I ask God to bless my hands. I do believe in being discreet. I have shared personal info, but as God teaches me I refine it to probably bring Him Glory. Too much information is never good. Some of us are still a work in progress. I know I am.
Thank you for the opportunity to share.
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October 24th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Beautiful~
Psalms 45:
1 For the leader. Set to “Lilies.” By the descendants of Korach. A maskil. A lovesong: My heart is stirred by a noble theme; I address my verses to the king; My tongue is the pen of an expert scribe. 2 You are the most handsome of men; gracious speech flows from your lips. For God has blessed you forever. 3 Warrior, strap your sword at your thigh; [gird on] your splendor and majesty. 4 In your majesty, succeed, ride on in the cause of truth, meekness and righteousness. May your right hand teach you awesome things.
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I am also losing my ability to spell.
Discrete and properly. Sorry about that. lol..
Jasmine´s last blog ..God’s Vision for the Family
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what i meant mainly was if someone is always griping, even if things are going well:)
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October 24th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
right; and I agree with you.
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off topic- I just love coming to your blog and hearing your music. Sometimes I leave the window open as I work. Thanks for the sweet serenade.
Robin @HeartofWisdom´s last blog ..Need to Get Organized? Check Out Homeschool Workboxes
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Dear Jacque & Ladies ~
This discussion has been lovely to read. Your comments are edifying (wow, Theresa!), and I have ‘marked’ this page for my ‘prayer notes’ journal for further pondering.
[Bear with me here, I think this will make sense...] My ‘comment name’ was chosen because I very much want to remember in WHOM I have hope, and WHY I have hope, even if my own personal circumstances seem otherwise (and they more often than not do ’seem’ otherwise). That is precisely what is edifying about your ‘honestly transparent’ posts … we readers see the LORD WORKING in the trials, bringing about His glory. Those types of posts serve to ‘lift our gaze higher’, (away from the mire & muck that satan so wants us to sink into), to the Truth that Is the Love of Christ. When we see how the Lord is working in your lives it serves to encourage & build us up.
And so I thank you dearly for your thoughtful & prayer-centered efforts to write what the Lord prompts… sending out His message to our needy souls.
grateful for His mercy,
HveHope
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October 26th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Thank you for your comment. I also agree about the comments here. I am thankful for the sweet spirit and scriptural and valuable observations made by everyone.
I do not want to be so transparent someone sees through me(and misses who I really am), nor do I want to be so non-transparent that it is unbelievable or unimportant. It is important to me to make a difference -for the better and Yehovah’s plans – when I write.
I am glad to find others who write the same…
kindred spirits.
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Ladies,
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom, and heart. I am so blessed these comments have been posted. I am so amazed by the sharing that takes place through Yehovah’s work. I know it shouldn’t surprize me, but it does lol, and it is so GOOD!
Stephanie´s last blog ..Changes and a Move!
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Hi Jacque,
Great question! We all have sin in our life and usually bad consequences from that sin if we put on masks and pretend it didn’t happen it will lead to more problems. Do we confess publically? Do we have to apologize over and over or can we rest in Christ’s forgiveness and let it go?
As you know, I have been very open on my blog. I’ve had a lot of junk in my life I was VERY ashamed of the junk and I kept it private for many, many years. . Guilt and hurt– from my sin and sin done to me– turned into shame, fear, denial, and anger.
Then one day someone I love very much accused of not being honest with people because I didn’t reveal my past. It was painful to hear– I can’t describe how excruciatingly painful. I sincerely didn’t think I was hiding anything– I just wasn’t telling things –that after all I repented and already received forgiveness through Christ. Why bring up things from 20 years ago? We all wear masks, not only to make ourselves look good, but we are often motivated by a sincere desire to make God look good.
After the accusation I decided I needed to reveal my sorted past. I’m not sure it was God led- it may have been me want to protect myself from the accusation or to earn love back from the accuser. I did pray about it -a lot.
It was very, very painful to be brutally honest. In my sharing, I was forced to look and examine my sin. Taking off the mask was painful but liberating.
In confessing my guilt and shame I was saying I am not self- sufficient and became able to accept God’s healing.
God teaches us through stories of people we can relate to. Moses killed a man, and David fell into temptation–both of them wrote about it and we learned much from their stories, their weaknesses brought God glory.
We are to bear one another burdens but where is the line?
Many of my blog post are personal stories of frustrating moments or falling down– and how God did something wonderful in spite of me. Bible study post with out personal stories don’t really have the same impact. People need to relate.
A recent situation is a good example: – we had company scheduled for three days that lasted almost 3 weeks – it was stressful. One day I was setting the table– grumbling under my breath … and BOOM the Holy Spirit convicted me with the Bible story I had read to the children–Jesus washing the disciples feet. I needed to have a servant’s attitude.
I repented and got a better attitude. But later I was writing a Bible study, I was tired and weak and the enemy attacked with that old whisper “Who do you think you are writing about loving one another– it doesn’t come naturally to you” Sigh, it is very humbling knowing I will fight this sin nature every day for the rest of my life.
I shared this burden with a friend at church and asked for prayer. She encouraged me– and I needed the encouragement. If I had gone to church and put on my Sunday -morning-my-life-is perfect mask I would not have received the encouragement or prayers I needed to face the rest of the week.
I would have crossed that line if I went to her complaining about specifics why I was grumbling –that would be grumbling more and publically which probably would have fueled more bad attitude.
I share my junk as a testimony that Romans 8:28 is true. ALL things do work together for good.
I share my junk because even though I caused some of the trails God had been faithful. His mercy endures forever!
I share my junk in hopes that it will encourages others who may be feeling everyone else has it all together
I share my junk because I need prayer and encouragement from others.
I share my junk because I feel absolutely great when I feel God has allowed me to be a part of comforting someone else. .
My plumb line for how much to share– “Will it bring glory to God?”
.The Christian walk is a journey. I have come far, and I have far to go. I’m trying to stay off the Hamster wheel and on the Potter’s wheel.
Robin @HeartofWisdom´s last blog ..A Peek into Our Homeschool Day: Workboxes
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October 30th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Thank you Robin, for this. I know you share a lot of “stuff” on your blog, and I know it is a blessing to many who are searching for answers. It has been such a blessing to get to know you better and to know that you are real too. *snicker*
I do not say that flippantly, but rather, because I know that no one is perfect. It kills me when people think that anyone has a “charmed” life because they do not blog about all their problems. Some just aren’t ready to blog about it. Some are not called to blog about those things, but other things. I also think that blogging is a metamorphosis, like our relationship with Yehovah. and sometimes, it is in relation *to* our relationship with him. As we surrender more of ourselves, we change. If blogging more transparently is a part of that, then so be it.
I just still can’t believe it when adults think that there are perfect people out there or even people that are “more perfect” than themselves. I don’t know that that should be an issue, I guess…
If that even makes sense!
I do appreciate your comment and your living examples friend~
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Wow!! Very insightful answer Jacque. I am convicted daily about what I think others will think of me. That has to be the one thing that I am guilty of more than everything else (and there are others). But that seems to be the front runner…trying to decide what is ok to share, what isn’t. But as you say…Will it bring Glory to Yehovah?
I couldn’t agree more also, with the part in your post where you say that we want to “relate” to the person we are reading. If we don’t, it is empty words.
Thanks again! Be blessed!!
Stephanie´s last blog ..What Is Your Persona?
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October 30th, 2009 at 11:31 am
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Transparency (honesty) is always the best way to reveal yourself to others as without it we have no earthly accountability. We cannot hide from God, and when we stand before Him the moment we close our eyes on this life believe me – we will be VERY transparent. When folks are “transparently” grumbling, rather than ignore them and criticize them, HELP them – encourage them, ask them what is the source of their groanings and then point them to Christ – the more we show ourselves as we truly are to those who love us the most the better those will be able to help us. It is hard to be rebuked when we feel justified in our complaining, but how much harder and how much more dangerous to hide it under a cloak of dishonesty for long periods of time only to grow bitter and resentful as time passes and no one “understands” our misery. Hey – Job sighed under a heavy load, as did David, and Christ Himself. Let’s always be transparent, but be willing to be discipled and taught how to relieve those burdens in the right way – governed by the Holy Spirit and walking in fellowship and love with those who will be spending eternity with us.
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Jacque,
This is exactly what I am struggling with with my new site! Since I am so new, I have very little insight into how much is enough. After making a few dozen mistakes, I am sure I might offer more!
I do think, though that we are all gifted in different ways. I tend to be a thinker, writer type of person and my articles are going to reflect that and may not come across as transparent. I write from the heart though and I know others do as well.
I have no illusions that I have arrived in any way, but that we are on this journey together.
There have been many women who have been accused of not “being real enough” because they would rather write reflectively than write about diaper changing!
We are all uniquely created in His Image and our blogs or websites should be a unique reflection of who we are in Christ and how He is transforming us into His likeness. We can’t force transparency and be who we are not.
Also, I remember reading that Paul the Apostle had said that he was weightier or more impressive in his letters than he was in person! Although none of us would say that we are his spiritual equal, I do believe that it is that way when it comes to writing. Especially if God has given us a gift and passion for writing. We ARE going to seem to be two different people, even though it is unintentional.
Incidentally, I think your site gives a real picture of who you are as a family!
Well now, I am pretty sure I have said too much again! Isn’t that also the way of a writer?!! LOL
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