Walking Therein

Posted By Jacque on September 5, 2009

Yesterday was a really bad day. I woke up to find out one of the little orphan girl goats was sick. Beulah was not eating well, was standing around, looking sad, with floppy ears and a dangling tail, which in goat language means she probably needs an enterotoxemia shot. What I didn’t know was that she wasn’t eating well last night. Had I known that last night she wasn’t feeling well, she’d have had the shot last night and would have been better this morning.

Instead, some of our children had given her other remedies, which, while they were fine to give and good to help, weren’t enough. She needed the shot. By the time I knew what she needed, Amanda (who administers the shots) was gone to the neighbors. So, we had to wait. I got the syringe out and ready, but could not grab what I needed to on such a small goat and did not feel confident enough to give it, so we had Amanda come home and give it. Ahh… good… she seemed to be doing better… somewhat.

This was becoming really hard realizing she may not get better, because, last month, just two weeks after losing Blondie, we lost her Momma in a short 15 hours, and knew nothing about how to help her. And the internet was out that night, so we were really at a loss… Since then, our children have been mixing milk and feeding these two little girls for the past month…

We gave the little girl some baking soda, and she still seemed to get better. She was at one point where she wouldn’t stand, but then seemed to be getting a little better and wanted to drink water. I didn’t know to give her PenG, but I do now. Her temp had been a couple degrees low, but went up after we had given her a few things and put her in the sun for a bit. I was somewhat hopeful.

After Jocelyn took her temp the second time, she all of a sudden acted like she was failing, and we tried to get her to stand, keep her up, but she went downhill fast, and after doing all we could for about ten to fifteen minutes, she seemed to be having a hard time breathing, which I tried to help her with that, but she ended up dying then shortly after.

For people who don’t care one way or the other about animals, they wouldn’t understand.  One thing is that all these children, and all these animals, as much as they belong to Yehovah God, are in my charge. I am the Momma and caretaker. I still tear up when the train blows its horn, knowing all I had to do was to realize that they must have been honking at Blondie last month and call her, before she was killed on the tracks. I think of it every time the horn honks… several times a day.

I don’t know why these things happen. I asked the Father to help us to treat her and to spare her and heal her, but, again, he chose not to. I know there is a bigger lesson in life’s circumstances and trials, but it sure is a heartache, isn’t it? She was not a child, and I have praised Yehovah and told him I would take a dead beloved pet over losing my child any day, but it is still heart-wrenching to do all you can and still not be able to help and hold a helpless little sweet animal dying in your arms.

And some will understand, and some cannot. And I can’t explain it.

But it did, again, change my perspective on life. I came in, teary-eyed, after giving Beulah to Eric to take out for them to bury, and I saw an Inbox full of FaceBook comments and other stuff, and honestly, all I could think of was how much more I care about people I know than the comments I get from strangers. It made me realize that some things are really important and some things I need to cut out and not be so worried about.

There are so many things I do with family, we do as a family online, such as blogging. These are good and positive. FaceBook can become a big waste of time soon. It will go soon. I have some statuses to copy for posterity of my children, then links to delete. I love it that I can keep in touch with family and old friends through it, but it is time consuming, and I do blog fairly regularly, so it is not as if we can’t keep up!

The greatest thing Yehovah showed me in this was about people who used to call themselves friends of our family. Those who have have not just “deleted” us from their lives, but those who have made me so mad with the stupid things they continue to blog about and the things they do to “show me they can get in my business”. It has been weighing on us, but no more. As I said, he showed me what they are doing is just that: STUPID. He put it all in perspective to show me that I really could care less about it or them. Not to be ugly, but life is short, and there are so many things that my Father has for me and my family to accomplish. Me, I am tired of all the petty, ridiculous, pointless things that try to steal our family’s time. HE WANTS our focus off of them and what they do against us and Him and onto all he has for us. Just a few minutes ago, Amanda found yet another post from a former “friend” directed as a RE: to her post on Forgiveness: The question really isn’t “Was she ever really my friend to begin with? “, but, are you willing to Just Forgive! Life is hard enough without other Believers being the perpetrators, but our Father sees it and does have a plan for us!!

Get thee behind me, Satan.

Isaiah 55:12 Yes, you will go out with joy, you will be led forth in peace.

Family times together, well children, well animals, Scripture times and home schooling come first. Finishing our bathrooms and other things we need to work on, along with loving life with my children, calling my grandparents, sending a care pkg. to Grandpa in the nursing home AND having this healthy sweet little baby definitely take precedence over vindictive people and their practices.

We have plenty to do online for the glory of Yehovah, and we are to avoid stupid controversies about the LAW and Torah, and follow the Word as it was written, not in my own or another man’s interpretation.

Titus 3:9-11
But avoid stupid controversies, genealogies, quarrels and fights about the Torah; because they are worthless and futile.
Warn a divisive person once, then a second time; and after that, have nothing more to do with him.
You may be sure that such a person has been perverted and is sinning: he stands self-condemned.

I plan to have better days than today was, but, if I don’t, well, then I will continue to trust in Yehovah and His plans, for they are for our good and higher than mine.

Isaiah 55
6 Seek ADONAI while he is available, call on him while he is still nearby. 7 Let the wicked person abandon his way and the evil person his thoughts; let him return to ADONAI, and he will have mercy on him; let him return to our God, for he will freely forgive. 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways,” says ADONAI. 9 “As high as the sky is above the earth are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 For just as rain and snow fall from the sky and do not return there, but water the earth, causing it to bud and produce, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater; 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth – it will not return to me unfulfilled; but it will accomplish what I intend, and cause to succeed what I sent it to do.” 12 Yes, you will go out with joy, you will be led forth in peace. As you come, the mountains and hills will burst out into song, and all the trees in the countryside will clap their hands. 13 Cypresses will grow in place of thorns, myrtles will grow instead of briars. This will bring fame to ADONAI as an eternal, imperishable sign.

I plan to make the most of the time Yehovah gives us online, as we spread love and hope to single moms whose husbands left them alone to train up their children without them, several who have to provide all for themselves along with that decision that was not their own. They need Gleaning the Harvest and the wonderful supporters who gave over $1900 last month to help, love and support them! We plan to love and encourage Mrs. Lirette, who has become a dear friend, as her dear husband did not leave her, but was taken from her in a drunk-driving accident. The Father is doing great things through Gleaning the Harvest, and I believe the loss today was an attempt by the enemy to get us down and get our focus off… and, oh, how close these things come to pulling us apart, don’t they?

See… conflict, too, is just a tool of the enemy. When you are the target of hate, it is easy to focus on that hate and the things being said and done against you, but we cannot let it happen as he wishes. When we have done all we can do, we have to just stand. We have to stand our place, turn our hearts from it, and continue on the other way, in Yehovah’s plans. We can leave them alone to be dealt with by him. Vengeance is not ours. And sometimes it seems to take years, but their plans do prove to fail. Even when they look like they are succeeding and ours fail, Yehovah is still in control, not anyone else.

Our Sustainer – Psalm 146

1 Halleluyah! Praise ADONAI, my soul! 2 I will praise ADONAI as long as I live. I will sing praise to my God all my life. 3 Don’t put your trust in princes or in mortals, who cannot help. 4 When they breathe their last, they return to dust; on that very day all their plans are gone.
5 Happy is he whose help is Ya’akov’s God, whose hope is in ADONAI his God. 6 He made heaven and earth, the sea and everything in them; he keeps faith forever. 7 He secures justice for the oppressed, he gives food to the hungry. ADONAI sets prisoners free, 8 ADONAI opens the eyes of the blind, ADONAI lifts up those who are bent over. ADONAI loves the righteous. 9 ADONAI watches over strangers, he sustains the fatherless and widows; but the way of the wicked he twists. 10 ADONAI will reign forever, your God, Tziyon, through all generations. Halleluyah!

When all things seem to go wrong: the dryer doesn’t work, home school plans don’t come together, grass grows faster than you can mow it, children get sick, friends turn against you… no matter what, He is still our sustainer. He provides all we need to be what he created us to be and will be with us. He loves us. He hears our pain, our anger, our frustration. He loves us and fills us with hope and joy and peace, in the middle of these circumstances. He is enough. It doesn’t seem possible, and it surely doesn’t make sense, but even if we are alone, we are not alone in Him.

So, we will miss that little girl, hopping around with her almost-twin sister, giving her her 5 bottles of milk a day, watching her come to any ‘Momma’ who has a skirt on. And we will shed a few more tears, wipe a few more eyes, explain a few more times where she is and, “Why, Mommy?”, but we know there is purpose and there is joy, and there is peace. Somewhere.

In Him.

People who don’t know him, don’t know this. Just like I cannot explain how we feel to someone who could care less about animals, it is not an easy thing to understand how we can know Yehovah and his promises are true. But they are.

Psalm 30
1 A psalm. A song for the dedication of the house. By David: I will exalt you, ADONAI, because you drew me up; you didn’t let my enemies rejoice over me. 2 ADONAI my God, I cried out to you, and you provided healing for me. 3 ADONAI, you lifted me up from Sh’ol; you kept me alive when I was sinking into a pit. 4 Sing praise to ADONAI, you faithful of his; and give thanks on recalling his holiness. 5 For his anger is momentary, but his favor lasts a lifetime. Tears may linger for the night, but with dawn come cries of joy.
6 Once I was prosperous and used to say, that nothing could ever shake me 7 when you showed me favor, ADONAI, I was firm as a mighty mountain. But when you hid your face, I was struck with terror. 8 I called to you, ADONAI; to ADONAI I pleaded for mercy: 9 “What advantage is there in my death, in my going down to the pit? Can the dust praise you? Can it proclaim your truth? 10 Hear me, ADONAI, and show me your favor! ADONAI, be my helper!” 11 You turned my mourning into dancing! You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 12 so that my well-being can praise you and not be silent; ADONAI my God, I will thank you forever!

The bottom line is this: Yehovah God is God. He is worthy to be praised, whether things are joyful or total chaos. He is to whom Yeshua-Jesus gave all his praise. He took none upon himself. He did not let the Pharisees who called him a heretic change his focus. He was set on teaching those who truly desired to know Yehovah his Torah and how to properly walk in “the Law”. He changed the world as Messiah, and re-defined Israel. Yehovah, the God of Israel is to be praised. Period.

May you walk and grow in all he has for you. May you search the Scriptures for every belief you have and not rely on man’s reasonings – or you own. May he lead you beside the gentle streams and also the harsh waves. May you be kept from the confusion that is in the world today, even from those who call themselves Christians. May you be blessed and walk in the Shalom of Yehovah, which passes all of our understanding and gain his wisdom for your life.

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All Scriptures taken from The Complete Jewish Bible by David Stern.

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