A Lifetime Journey ~ Training Daughters, Teaching Wives
Posted By Jacque on June 26, 2008
I have been on a journey now for my entire life, and I did not even know it until about five years ago. It has been a journey to become the woman God created me to be. There have been curves in the road, barricades and detours. So many times, I was not even close to the right path, but I know the Lord was watching me and trying to get my attention. I am thankful for His faithfulness and the prayers of many I may never know.
I am blessed today to be on the closest path to fulfilling my purpose that I have ever been on. I am privileged to stay at home and train my children in the Lord and an uncompromising education. I am nowhere near where I should be or could be had I been counting it such a privilege to be a wife and mother since I came to the Lord in 1988.
It is hard to admit that I still struggle daily with being a cooperative and pleasant wife of a very hard-working husband. It is a journey I am still on. I do not know why God deemed it my lot to have these wonderful children, but there is not a time 
I am not thankful. That sounds impossible, but I always end my thoughts, even after frustrations, with how sweet my child is and how much I truly love him or her. That is only from God, because it has not always been this way!
I asked myself for the first ten years – and sometimes I asked others, “Why did God give me three girls first?”. I am not sure I can yet fully answer that question, but it has been proven many times how blessed I am to have three daughters first in our large family. These girls are such a blessing, a joy, and my best girlfriends. I am honored to be their mother.
As I said, we did not really have an understanding of woman and her design and purpose until about nine years ago. God spoke into our hearts about having children. He showed me in His Word why He gives us children and what happens when He gives us children. We started trusting Him in that, and it changed our lives. Shortly after this new-found understanding, we went through some very difficult trials that caused us to search and be confident in God’s Word alone. The things we learned in the next two years put us further into God’s plan for our lives.
At this time, and each year before, I had no idea what a wife really was. I mean, I understood that I was Matt’s partner as a married woman, but I did not understand my Biblical role, and even moreso, I did not understand what that Biblical role of a woman meant to my husband and children. I’m not sure I do yet. I do, in my brain and my heart, but my flesh is unwilling to let me remember sometimes still. ugh. Needless to say, we have stuck with each other through thick and thin, but not in a God-honoring way many times. Only by God’s grace can I shake the feminist bonds and become the lovely woman God created me to be.
Five years ago, I got a hold of a different homeschooling philosophy through such resources as Educating the Wholehearted Child and The Charlotte Mason Companion. Then, three years ago, I found a few sites that promoted a Biblical life. Sadly, that was all new to me. I had been a Christian for fifteen years, but did not have a clear understanding of denying my rights for His. I started reading my Bible differently, and God put a hunger in me to be a Godly wife. I no longer read it from my perspective, but from God’s. It wasn’t the world’s or the Church’s point of view I saw. I finally saw how different Scriptures I had heard or read over and over related to each other. It was as though I understood a new language. I understood that God has a specific personality and is steady. I can see, in His Word, what God thinks about things. He told us, and it is in there, if we look and listen. The Old Testament became more real to me and more a part of the New Testament than it had ever been.
I found some family resources and heard what I had already heard preached many times, but now it seeped into my spirit, and I soaked it all up. I was ecstatic. I was thrilled to finally ’see’ what the Bible meant. I wanted to learn it all and do it all, because we had lost so much time in the first fifteen years I had known the Lord. On the other hand, my girls hated it. I was so full of zeal for this new-found understanding of womanhood, I didn’t want to wait for them to catch up. There were some deep-seated worldly ideals that we had allowed in, and it took quite the strength and perseverance from all of us to get them out. Slowly, though, things changed in all of our hearts.
I put the family on a schedule that helped us do things we had never done before. We cleaned and cooked and homeschooled in an order that allowed for time for other things. We started doing things that the world no longer holds in high regard. We were so thrilled to learn them and enjoy each other and have something to show for it. We were blessed to make quilts and include it as a part of their learning. We started sewing. We spent time scrapbooking together. We had home births with our sixth and seventh children and welcomed two new sons into the family together as a family affair. We bought two goats and became interested in homesteading. There were still rebellion issues with the girls, but God walked us through them. He kept us close through the anger and hurt and brought us closer than we had ever been. He had a purpose.
When the girls and I started blogging in April 2006, my intention was for them to do weekly assignments for English or Research, but, before I knew it, a monster had been created… or two… or three. To this day I am amazed at how God used blogging to shape their perspectives and cause them to research and write things that I never could have anticipated or assigned. They wanted to blog, and they came up with topics on their own. I was quality control, editor, and their personal confidante in many topics, from the silly daily things to heart-breaking issues to deep Biblical posts.
God has allowed blogging to be a large part of our training our daughters. Having the three of them so close in age has allowed them to play off of each other in their beliefs, thoughts and silliness. They can be each others’ biggest heroes and biggest thorns! But, oh! I can see the love and integrity and compassion and fervor they each share for each other. 
And for their friends! Real life created many opportunities for reflection and soul-searching, and allows them to do it inwardly and openly at the same time. They have grown from the inside out.
Some days, we talk about the Bible and how it relates to our lives for hours. We revisit Scriptures as we serve dinner and clean or watch the Littles. Out of the blue, we can start a conversation about God or His plan or any number of things in His Word and see how it relates to our lives. Are we doing what God has for us? Are our attitudes or thoughts honoring God? Are we being too harsh or judgmental? All of these questions are open conversations in our home, and God uses them to shape us and open our eyes to His truths. And we are blessed.
I always wanted a boy first. I wanted a boy for three consecutive pregnancies. I could not see the future. I did not know what a blessing girls are. I did not understand what it is to be a woman, to train young women, to teach them how to become women. I did not foresee all of the times we would cook together and laugh and cry and scrapbook. All of the heartaches and tears. The smiles and fears that we overcome with the Word of God. And now, to have two daughters who are almost adults, to watch all of my girls, at ages 18, 17, 14, 8, and 1, just love on each other; it is such an honor. It warms my heart in a way that I know only God could have foreseen.
I do not deserve the unconditional love that my daughters show me on a daily basis. Or that any of my children show me, for that matter. I am not always the best example of gentleness, love or holiness. I do not always start my day off in the Word as I would like to do. We have by no means arrived, nor am I saying that our particular journey is the only way to become who God has created woman to be. I am still so sinful, and I do not feel worthy of so many blessings as God has given me. It is a good thing that neither my goodness nor my sinfulness is the measure by which God gives me His grace. It is a good thing He measures it out much more than any of us deserves.
Learning that truth in the past few years has allowed me to look at the role of a woman, a wife, and a mother differently. It is not self that I should look to apply the blessings in Scriptures to. It is not my perspective that is important. It is God’s. My perspective is important in shaping what I believe, but looking at the Word through His eyes is what I need to do. It is the only way I can show God to my children. It is the only way I can stop stomping my foot and demanding my way over my husband’s or my children’s. It is the only way I can be an example of a woman of God, Help Meet to my husband and lover of my children. I know it is my lifelong journey, and I want to fulfill this purpose. And, we have by no means arrived, nor am I saying that our particular journey is the only way to become who God has created woman to be.
Last year I opened a blog on homesteadblogger entitled Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. My intention was to blog about things we had learned or were learning on this journey we have made in becoming Godly women. We were going to be reading Created To be his HelpMeet together, and I thought we could post about it on there. Though we do not blog on it regularly, the TDTW blog has become a little blog compilation of some of our posts,
Instead of worrying about keeping up the blog, I created the Training Daughters, Teaching Wives blogroll. The TDTW blogroll is for moms training their daughters in the Biblical admonishment of training our daughters in the Word and for women teaching wives in the Titus 2 admonishment for the older to teach the younger. Of course, as we train our daughters, we will begin to teach them about being a Godly wife.
We have many wonderful blogs of on the blogroll already. If you are interested in joining the TDTW blogroll please contact me. Adding the blogroll to your blog will not automatically add you to the blogroll itself! I will contact you with the code after taking a look at your blog. 
)
Here are a some posts from some of the mothers on the Teaching Daughters, Training Wives blogroll. I know you will enjoy them:
Kate at A Simple Walk: Teaching My Daughters to Love a Life at Home
Sally at Diamonds in the Rough: For Mom
If you are interested in visiting more Mothers and daughters on the TDTW blogroll, it is on my sidebar.
blessings!
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25 Responses to “A Lifetime Journey ~ Training Daughters, Teaching Wives”
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Thank the Lord, we don’t only get one shot at being who He’s created us to be! He is so patient, loving, understanding, gentle, kind, compassionate ~ all the things He desires for us! Thanks for sharing I know the road has seemed long but you are so wonderfully blessed!
I love you sis,
Jen
Jens last blog post..So, in YOUR Life….Who’s it all about?
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The first 15 years was not wasted time at all. God used it to create a new heart in you. You have something to look back on and see the progress you’ve made as a Christian, a wife, and a mother. It takes time for us to come to this realization. So much of what I learned from you, I had NEVER heard of before. I thought living a homesteading life was a thing of the past!
After reading your blogs I have come to realize that so many Christians have a worldly view on their Christianity. That should not be so. As we each take a stand in our own lives to live our lives as Christ meant us to, as wives and mothers, then we will be a light to those around us. We MUST raise up the next generation of young women who will have this knowledge at a younger age and I am BLESSED to be able to be one of those who can do so in my own daughters. I believe that all of our daughters are already being used by God to spread this light across our land. It takes time over the generations to bring back what God always wanted in the first place. Our daughters will be the next generation of mothers and our grandchildren will reap the benefits of that.
I still have so much to learn, but am thankful for my sisters online who help support me in this journey. (((hugs))) Love ya!!
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What a wonderful post, Jacque. I am so proud of You, Matt, and the whole family. We do not know why God does things the way He does, but we know He has a plan. Even though our stubborness (self) gets in the way , He forgives us and His plan continues. I am so thankful that He saved me and forgave my selfish, sinful past. All I want now, is His Will and plan for my life. I am really blessed to have the (grown) children God gave me and all of my grandchildren.
Thank you Lord, that Your mercy endures forever.
Mom
Mom ( Grandma Starr)s last blog post..Thought For The Day
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I agree that the first years are a growing time, but oh! I wish I had read the Word and received what God had for me then! I wouldn’t have so many bad habits to get rid of now either!
I AM so thankful that our children will have a better chance of knowing the Lord and His ways because of His grace and mercy extended toward us! Praise the Lord!
I am so thankful for my online sisters and my real-life sisters who are a constant encouragement and source of godliness and friendship.
God is good!
Thanks for the great comment and encouragement!
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Thanks Mom. I love you too. It has been wonderful growing in the Lord with you and Jen too. I am thankful (gulp) that He keeps me humble, though I fight it constantly.
Love you and Jen both!
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Thank you so much–I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve read here tonight. But yikes, it’s getting late and i need sleep. Going to book mark this–I want to come back and read more! in Christ, Gin
Gins last blog post..The First Effect of Disbelieving God
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DITTO – sis…
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have thought things through after talking to you about something. Being really ticked off at first but I’m so thankful God gave me the wisdom to shut my mouth until I could pray. I am blessed to have such an amazing sister…and doubly blessed that she is also a sister in Christ. I love you more than I can even express. Still praying for God’s best for all of you and for us too. ((((Love You))))
Jen
Jens last blog post..So, in YOUR Life….Who’s it all about?
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Thank you Mom for letting me do the Saturday Psalm & Praise. I love you Mom. Thank you for shooing me Christ, and my God, and Lord.
With love,
Hannah
Miss Hannies last blog post..The Satrday Psaalm & Praise is up- Everybody Will Be Happy Over There
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Dear Mrs. Dixon,
That was a beautiful post, and quite inspirational! Our family is undergoing the same journey as yours. We did not start out as Christians, and have been slowly growing and discovering new things just like you. It is quite startling to look back at the way we used to be, and see how far we have come, and then to look forward, and see how impossibly far we have to go. It is quite comforting that the Lord can take us all the way.
Have a very bright, very cheerful day!
Miss Eyebright
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Beautiful post, Jacque!
I am so glad y’all starting blogging.
I can see how through the past couple of years, all of your daughters have matured and grown so much. You have much to be proud of, my friend– and I know that they already think the world of you! Did you think this day would come so quickly? I bet there were some tough times in the past, but God is ever faithful!
Keep up the good work and don’t be weary. Like the song says, “In Jesus name, press on!” Thanks for sharing so much of yourself and your family with us– it is such an encouragement!!!
Marshas last blog post..My giveaway for Heart of the Matter’s Virtual Homeschool Conference!
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Eyebright~
It has been such a blessing for our family to get to know yours! Keep on keepin’ on. I praise God for showing us a different life than we knew, one that has brought us closer to Him.
((HUGS)) Little Sister in the Lord!
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Oh Marsha~
Are you trying to make me more sad that we didn’t get to stop a couple of weeks ago!!
Thanks so much for this encouragement, my friend!
You are right that there have been tough times, and you are so right about how quickly it has passed. The tough times shape us into who we are and teach us to depend more and more on God’s plan and His Grace, rather than our own understanding.
I hate some of the times we have gone through, but I am thankful for who these times have allowed our children to be. My girls are the best! And my boys too! The BEST for our family!
Thank you thank you again!
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Jacque,
What a beautiful post, I too was not taught the femine ways of living biblically, and a few years ago I also started down this road. My daughters have slowly joined me they like to have the why’s explained to them…keep going their lives will be richly blessed by it.
Shelley P
from over the pond
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Dear Shelley-
It is so true that their lives will be richly blessed by this path. I was lying in bed last night, just thanking the Lord for my children. I was thanking Him that they are such beautiful Believers. That they notice when they sin, and they are quick to ask forgiveness. They do not stew and make excuses and demand their own ways.
Of course they aren’t perfect, and they think they are right when they aren’t xsometimes, but I am so thankful for their maturity in the Lord and their willingness to look at themselves and turn from their ways when they are wrong.
It is an incredible thing to see the fruit of your labor and the blessing of a merciful God in a child who is becoming an adult. I praise God for setting us on this path and for keeping our children to Him. With Him, all things are possible! Thank you for your comment!
blessings!
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Hey Mrs. Jacque,
What a lovely post. Your girls are very blessed to have you as a role model. ^_^
I didn’t post any “goofy-looking” pictures.
Well, I don’t think so anyway. lol!
Love you,
Sarah
Sarah (dixiefiddler)s last blog post..What’s Been Going On Around Here~Part 1~ The Dixons
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Oh My, what a beautiful post, and I am so glad to have stopped by to see how you are doing, and its been a very good while since I said hello anyways. Even though I do post a few comments here and there on the girls blogs. You all look so beautiful in the photos and your girls look quite a bit like you. Have a blessed rest of the week, I am off to figure out what the Lord would have me be doing right now while the kiddos are out in the back yard playing in the sprinkler.
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Haha! LOL! Yes, we had a GRAND time!
I hope we will get to see you guys.
Do you think we will?
Oh yeah, the bass is awesome!
Paulie can play the Pink Panther on it while I’m playing another part on the piano!
It sounds really nice.
Your Nephew,
Beav
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Your blog is amazing and beautiful and you are a wonderful writer. I felt the spirit of Christ so strong through this post. Thank you
Janis
lilpeasinmypod.blogspot.com
Janiss last blog post..Just a Life Update
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Oh Janis,
Thank you so much for your encouragement! I know that God has written our story, even when we were not following His pen. I am glad it was a blessing to you! Thank you again!
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Hi Mama,
This was such a great article! I included it in this week’s Super Simple Spiritual Sunday (http://feelinfeminine.com/?p=197).
I hope you will come by and check it out!
Thanks for a great article!
Have a SUPER Sunday!
Miss Amanda
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What an amazing post. I would really enjoy coming back to read some more.
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really enjoyed your information – was wondering how to find your current blog as these two are from last June. Just hoping all is well with you and yours
Michele
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I am so blessed as I re-read through these comments. I am very happy to let you know that we now have our own domain: http://trainingdaughtersteachingwives.com.
I have transferred your sweet comments there: http://trainingdaughtersteachingwives.com/?p=1
blessings, Jacque
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I believe I’ve read this before but while I reread it tonight. I was shaking my head in agreement. Amen Sister Amen! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I appreciate it more than I could even express.
Karen @ Lil Momma’s Haven
Karens last blog post..LOVE DARE ~ DAY 6
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Wonderful post. I am still learning these things as well. I’ll be back to read more of these posts.
Also wanted to ask, what requirements are there for joining the “Teaching Daughters” blogroll? I’d love to, if possible. ♥
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