*This post originally contained The Letter From A Christian Guy About Modesty. I posted the Letter separately, because it may not be appropriate for all eyes, ears or hearts. Guarding our children’s thought lives is important to me, so I wanted to make it one step harder for them to stumble upon it*

Ask my girls and you will find out that the topic of modesty is not just a fly-by-night issue with my heart, but it is near and dear. I was a very provocative teenager. I intended to be. Many girls -and women, for that matter, do intend to be – provocative.

Some young ladies who claim to be committed to the LORD intend to be noticed, and express it by their immodesty. The letter, Modesty: A letter from True Christian Guys is written with all of the reasons women need to understand about their indulgences in immodest clothing from a man’s point of view.
However, as very important as that is… we need to understand that, if this is so spiritually repulsive to men, then God ~ Jesus, well, need I say more? Do you want to have your Holy Saviour say the same words to you as this young man is? I don’t.

And, if I could add a few more thoughts, I would say to DADS – please do not say “I don’t care,” or “It’s none of my business what my daughter wears,” or “Oh, but isn’t she beautiful in that, though?” or “Well, she has to make those decisions herself now; she’s old enough.” OR-God forbid…”Her Mother will take care of that!”

Even if your daughter is old enough, she needs to know what you think – especially in the area of her Virtue. And, even if your wife doesn’t mind or even wants to take care of their modesty training, encourage them both anyway. Moms can talk all day about some things, and a lot of topics are well-received by daughters. I have found that, my daughters especially, as much as they try to receive the clothing issue in love from Mom, Dad has a grip on their hearts in this area that they want to be held by. I believe it is a man’s God-given authority and responsibility to help his daughter in this area, if it is an issue.

I have also found that clothing is an outward expression of the spirit. Is it an undeniable issue in today’s culture? yes. Is it a touchy issue? it can be. Is it a telling sign of rebellion or submission? I believe so. In boys or girls. This is why we must train our children from birth.
We must speak and act in a holy manner. Christians sometimes take liberties, because we do not look at them in a holy manner. We look at them through our own experiences and desires. Everything is a matter of worldliness and holiness. Everything.

Daughters… you should be willing to receive Dad’s and Mom’s instruction in every area of your life, whether it pertains to something personal or not. Just as the LORD’s ways are higher than ours, they have a larger understanding of the world and its insatiable desire to get you in its grips than you do.

Trust them; believe them; love God through them. Even if – or especially if- you think they are wrong. You need to make yourself do as they say, and do it with a love for God. The only way you can deny this rule is if they are causing you to sin. Having you wear clothing you don’t like (if you don’t like it) is not causing you to sin. Your reaction may be sinful, but that is your choice. Like I said: Trust them; believe them; love God through them.

You will be a better young lady for it, and you will thank them when you are married. You will rejoice and praise them when you stand before the throne of God.

Actually, the swimsuit question was rhetorical. I guessed that, after the Committed Christian Guy made several references to the effects of bare flesh on a male mind, it would mean that swimsuits, by nature, are immodest. And, I, personally, cannot understand the bare flesh leading to other thoughts to keep under subjection, because I have never really thought past the bare legs and chest associated with swimtrunks (though they leave little to wonder about!).

I do believe that modesty is not just being concerned with what someone else thinks. I believe God built each soul with a spirit that wants to be holy and flesh that wants to be, well, hellish. So, that is our decision… holy or hellish.

It’s funny that I just saw a program about this on PBS History Detectives last night after I had posted that entry. It spoke of how these little itty, bitty eyeglasses, with pictures on them, called stanhopes,coming out of Europe in the 1800’s with pictures of scantily-clad or nude women were banned in some countries. It brought up the subject of modesty and the question of why some nude pictures were immodest – or pornographic- and some were considered art. So, almost a century later, with the “free-to-be-me hippy era”, we had to make legislation for those who couldn’t discern it for themselves.

I think when morality and what is modest and what is not was actually legislated in the ’60’s or 70’s (which is not included in the program transcript for some reason), that was the point at which our (we, as a culture) idea of modesty changed. Even if it had changed before, we then had someone who had defined modesty for us, so, even if we felt that something was immodest, we had a law that said otherwise. The definition of modesty was, at that point, being legislated by men, instead of by convictions (from God or the Holy Spirit).

That is where the modest moral Christian today loses sight of what morality is – we let someone else define what modesty is or is not – usually culture, or Hollywood or our children’s friends… and we would rather go along for the ride, instead of thinking about it and seeking the Truth for ourselves (forget about taking a stand and establishing morality and holiness).

So, by definition of modesty… in the holy sense of the word, can a swimsuit, which bares all but… can it be modest? I don’t mean a comparatively modest swimsuit (one compared to the -I heard a description recently from a comic- 2 potato chips and a band-aid – swimsuits). After all, why compare an ideal like Holy Modesty with something of such a low standard on the modesty scale?

Matt loves to go to waterparks. I hate it. He loves the fun of the rides. I hate seeing it all. I hate my children seeing it all. My 14 year old daughter. My 11 year old son. My 8 year old daughter. Amanda, at 18, and Jocelyn, at 17, already have their minds set on the matter, and the thought of going to a flesh-fest just makes them cringe. Me too. In addition to the fact that I don’t want the Littles to grow up insensitive to it.

It is a balancing act in this world. We rarely take our children to the grocery store anymore in the summer for this very reason. Eric constantly averts his eyes to mine whenever someone with it all hanging out walks towards us. It is just the way it is, but do we have to partake of it? The balancing: we cannot step away from the world and people who need the Lord either. We cannot be prejudiced against them. We cannot feel superior to them. I am talking about protecting our children from sin. I am also talking about Mrs. So-n-so who wears a mini-skirt and low-cut blouse and sits in the front pew at church or teaches our children’s Sunday school class…

Lots to think about. Lots to consider. Lots to pray about. Tomorrow is June 1st!

blessings!

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This article originally Posted HERE. Read the comments.

PLEASE ask your parents if you are not sure you should be reading this!

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A letter from True Christian Guys……

Girls,

Could we talk to you right out of our hearts for a few minutes?
It is awkward for us to talk about something of this nature, in person, so we thought we would write our feelings. We are young men who have been saved and filled with the Holy Spirit. We desperately want to live for Christ and not follow the ways of the world. Since we are indwelt with the “Holy” Spirit, we feel in our hearts that we should live “holy” lives. After all, our bodies are the temple, the sanctuary, the
place where the “Holy” Spirit lives and makes His home.

We know that guys and girls are affected differently, so since we desperately want to follow hard after God, could we kindly and respectfully ask you to help us with a few things?

We realize that girls are primarily stimulated or turned on by “touch.” But did you know that guys are turned on by “sight?” So when you are “aroused” (sexually awakened) by a guy’s “touch,” we are in the same way aroused by mere “sight.” Let us explain. When we see girls who are dressed in a suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing manner, our sexual desires are aroused. Our bodies are then affected.

To be absolutely candid, let us give you some examples of what we are referring to:

If you are wearing a blouse that barely meets the waist of your slacks and some of your skin shows while you are moving around, or simply while you are walking, sitting, or kneeling, our minds are geared to wonder what more of your body would look like further up….This causes our bodies to respond biologically, and suddenly we are fighting a war in our minds and bodies. And that war of lust is continuing often long, even hours, after you are gone.

We (as christian men, who are trying to live a holy life) hate this, because our “righteous man” wants to think pure thoughts….

When you wear low-cut tops which are in any degree revealing, or when you bend over, and they are revealing, this again causes us big problems in the flesh. Or if the back is out of your top, we automatically think that you do not have the undergarment on, and the Spirit and the flesh begin to fight again. Or when we see any glimpse of your undergarments, such as straps and the like, we have trouble.What we are trying to say is this: If it is not for sale, don’t advertise it. We really feel that the still small voice of the Holy Spirit speaks to you and nudges you when it is too tight, too short, too low, or too revealing. Will you listen to that voice? For the Scripture says, “Quench not the Spirit.” (1 Thess. 5:19).

Girls, do you know what we would really like? We would like to come among our Christian sisters and not have to fight and struggle in the flesh. We do not need to have to wrestle in the flesh at church or at church activities. We men, whether young, old, single or married, are faced with this every day among girls of the “world.” But we would like to have rest in our Spirit man when we come among Christian girls. After all, doesn’t the Scripture tell us to “come out from among the world and be you separate, saith the Lord.” (2 Cor. 6:17) It also tells us that “all that is in the world, the lust of the eye, and the lust of the flesh, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” (1 John 2:15) We are the church, not the world.

We know that people often use the verse, “Man looketh on the outward appearance, but God looketh on the heart,” (1 Sam. 16:7) to condone anything they wish to wear. This is one of the most misused/used out-of-context verses in the Bible. Conversely, the fact is, if your heart is pure, your outward appearance will be modest….

Girls can be fashionable and modest at the same time. To be honest, we respect you more when your appearance is modest, as the Scripture commands in 1 Timothy 2:9. We really do not want the kind of girl who dresses provocatively, for we know that if we marry her, she will still be that way in the presence of other men once we are married.

We know that we have Christian responsibilities toward girls, too. We must be careful to portray ourselves properly. We must treat you like ladies. If we are really committed Christian guys, we will strive to treat you like Jesus would. After all, you are daughters of God.

Thank you, dear Christian sisters, for hearing our hearts on this subject. Once we have conveyed the truth of the matter to you, you become responsible before God for what you do with the truth. We really are “our brother’s keeper.” (Genesis 4:9.) We know that there is a “cult of conformity” in our generation, but we as Christians “march to the beat of a different drummer.”

Please, girls, do not say, “I don’t care,” but help us in these last days to live as close to Jesus as we can.

Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
“Committed Christian Guys”
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blessings!

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 This post was originally posted HERE. Read the comments.

You can read my comments, as well as further discussion on Christian modesty: Summertime: Modesty and Swimsuits